PAT BOONE

PAT BOONE
IN A METAL MOOD,
NO MORE MR NICE GUY (1997)
320 KBPS

Monty Python have got nothing on Pat Boone. You want absurd, this is the pinnacle. No comedy writer in his/her dreams could have dreamt up anything even half as stupid. The mere idea of Pat Boone, Mr. Squeaky Clean himself, (ahem) crooning heavy metal tunes is bad enough, but it gets so much worse. Big name arrangers were brought in to take crunchy power chords and squealing guitar solos and turn them into jazzy riffs and big band horn blasts. Even a few of the artists whose material is covered make guest appearances. Guitarist Ritchie Blackmore plugs in on "Smoke on the Water," while vocalist Ronnie James Dio gives a shout out on his band's "Holy Diver." This musical "idiodyssey" actually works a few times. I'm not immune to the kitsch value that the swingin' versions of AC/DC's "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)," Hendrix's "The Wind Cries Mary," or Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" provide. These songs almost sound like they were written for this kind of overblown, slick swing. Very scary. As for the rest, well, let's just say that aside from the fact that they don't really work too well in this format, Boone just ends up sort of speaking the lyrics and sounding completely goofy. If that's not comedy enough for you, surely the extensive liner notes explaining (rationalizing?) why Boone felt the need to make this record are the topper. I liked this guy a lot better when he was pals with the Parents' Music Resource Center. Can't wait for In a Grunge Mood--sometime in the 21st century.

1. You've Got Another Thing Comin'
2. Smoke on the Water
3. It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock & Roll)
4. Panama
5. No More Mr. Nice Guy
6. Love Hurts
7. Enter Sandman
8. Holy Diver
9. Paradise City
10. The Wind Cries Mary
11. Crazy Train
12. Stairway to Heaven